Gawd, where to begin? Here's a few gems...
<client> "We want to sell our products over the web, but we don't want to show any prices because our competition can see them."
<me> "Do you buy many products online with your credit card without knowing the price?"
<client> ...stunned silence...
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<client> "Your price is a little high, so I can't give you the job."
<me> "So who's going to do it for you?"
<client> "Well my grandson is whiz with computers, so I bet he can throw something together."
<me> "How old is your grandson?"
<client> "He's 7 years old, but you know how kids are these days with computers..."
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I actually had a sys admin at the corporate hellhole where I was working tell me that I couldn't put GIFs and JPEGs on the same page 'cause it might blow up Netscape. I didn't know whether to <blink>arrrgh!</blink> or ask him if he'd heard of jerking off... (two of my favorites from the thread)