This is a new daily read for me. I've been laughing all day, thanks.
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scene: quickie logo design for web-based company, must be small and fast-loading
me: Did you have any particular style in mind? What colors do you like?
c: Do whatever you want. Just don't use red, my mother says it's a bad luck color for me.
later, I'm showing him about 10 comps: different styles, colors, etc.
c: can you make it red?
After a while, I gave up and as a joke did a logo that was blue and green and had both a swoosh and a star. He loved it.
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Neat trick for bad clients:
A friend of mine is a designer in NYC and after having not gotten paid too many times (bankrupt clients, disappeared clients, mean lawyers & clients out for a sportfuck, etc.), he now doubles all quotes and demands 50% up front. If they come through at the end, great; if not, he still gets paid.