Former *Celebrity* client (name withheld, hint, she's married to Antonio Banderas):
"Ummm, you know how when you do a search on Yahoo! or something, when you type my name in you get all these sites with nude pictures of me. Can you take those links down?"
Me:
"You want me to get rid of all the porn sites of you on the whole internet?"
Her:
"Yeah"
My Creative Director:
"How about you ask him to clean up the oceans, or stop war?"
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Or another day, while I'm working, she's behind me and wispers in my ear:
"Your colors look like fucking baby diahrea"