This was actually told to me by a mate in IT support. They had recently changed from terminals to pc's:
Girl on phone: My computer doesn't work.
Him: What seems to be the problem ?
Girl: I can't open Word.
Him: Move the mouse to the start button at the bottom left of the screen and left click.
Girl: okay i've done that, but nothing is happening.
Him: okay I'll come up and help.
He arrives up there and see's her with THE ACTUAL MOUSE ON THE SCREEN......
<blink> aaaarrghhr <blink>