Dear Prospective client,
I'm sorry to inform you, that on assessment of our previous conversations, the associated meetings, rhetoric, and new age marketing jargon;
It is my opinion, that not only are you not the type of client we are interested in dealing with, but that recommendation should be made to relevant authorities, barring your company from creating any "web thingie" presence whatsoever.
If by some slender chance you do manage to procure the services of a html do-it-yourself short-course graduand, who is willing to bow to your every whim.
It would be to your advantage to make use of your extensive design knowledge and produce a brief, provide content, and stay away.
Never call me.
Your Designer.