I just spent about 50 minutes reading this... its great stuff!.
I have a few examples:
The client wanted a website about bands:
[client] I want you to do the logo like mp3.com, but not so dont get in trouble.
[me] Uhh... ok
next day
[me] Here, how are these... they don't look too similar but convey the same feel.
[client] What? You haven't done much??!...
(he contacted me at 11pm the night before, and had expected me to have produced a couple of layouts, and 10-20 logos or something ridiculous. this was as a freelance thing, so i did it all in spare time).
[client] ok. well I'm sending the list of bands today, can you put them all on the front page in a list down the sides.
[me] Uhh, dont you thi###
[client] just do it!!.
[me] ok.
(made a few layouts)
[client] ok, i like this one, but can you make the background light yellow instead of light grey? (see jakob's site for a similar color)
[me] well, that would unba###
[client] look! you make what we tell you!
well this went on a while longer with similar upstets, and i got another great one:
[client] ok, can you put a drawn picture of me and my partner dressed in business suits looking funky talking on phones and stuff?
[me] well we dont really do drawings, but i'll see what we can do. do you have any photos of you for reference?
[client] no, but i have black hair and brown eyes, and *** (his partner) has brown hair and brown eyes.
[me] great.
(more time)
[client] ok, so how is the content going?
[me] I'm still waiting for you to send it.
[client] well, i gave you the list...
[me] right. so you want the band title and nothing else on each page?
[client] no! i want you to get a photo of each band as a group, and then seperately of each of the membembers, write a short history of the band an###
[me] stop.
[client] why? we're paying you!!!
[me] yes, but we design websites we don't write the content.
[client] you make websites.
[me] we design websites, you write content.
[client] ok, $200 off the price
[me] we are only charging you $350 (!!)
[client] well yeah, i mean making pictures isnt hard.
[client] oh yeah, i dont like that picture of us either
[client] it should look like this [url]
[me] thats a piece of clipart
[client] yeah. make some.
[me] you expect all this for when?
[client] next weekend (this was wednesday)
[me] yes, as i suspected. you want all this for $350? in this timeframe?
[client] yup
[me] thats not possible
[client] my way or the high way!
[me] this contract is terminated.
then we discovered the pair were aged 12 & 13.
<blink>arrghh!</blink>
i also had another one
[client] can i use some images off you're webpage?
[me] what for? wouldnt you rather us design a proper site for you?
[client] oh yes? youdo that?
[me] did you actually read the site or just look at the images?
[client] ahh, yes, i couldnt remeber which HomePage it was.
<ARG>
[client] well, ok, can you do one for us. i want it like sony.com
[me] what products are you selling? what kind of business do you run
[client] ***
[me] ok, what sections would youlike you page split up into?
[client] like sony.com
[me] oook. that number, in that style?
[client] yeah, just like sony.com
[me] ok. i have to go now.
(my giraffe is on fire, honest! just let me go!!)
a while later after a string more of likesony.com's we decided that the deal was not going to well and gave up.
<blink>arrghh!</blink>
pretty much says it all.