Client Quote 392/521:

memex

Original bid:

client: We just want a simple brochure type site... nothing too fancy, oh, and cheap.

me: Okay, shouldn't be a problem.


- a week later & finished with yet another useless brochureware corporate web site to clutter the web for less than $1,000 (USD) -

client: (and I quote) "Okay, now can you enhance it by adding a database of our products with online, realtime payments that have lots of shopping carts to process the orders and handle the billing and then get it so that it is really fast and then will print out the orders here in the office. You know, eeeeeeee-Commerce." (must be read with the long, emphasised eeeeeeeee).

me: um... er, yeah, we can do something like that. But you do realize that this will add considerable cost to the project?

client: huh? But we've already paid you! How hard is it to add a database? We just want a simple database!

me: databases can be quite complex and require a lot of setup time. The national average cost for a database driven site is more than 20 times the cost of the site we just complet--

client: But we've already paid you! And we've only got a couple hundred products that we'd need to have you put in there. Crap, we're not asking you to build us something like amazon.com.

me: okay, just remember that I bill by the hour.

client: Ah, forget it then. Well what about the online payments? Can we at least have the eeee-Commerce with the shopping carts?

me: again, this is more complex than some pictures and text and would really need the database to function correct--

client: But I don't want the database.

me: er, okay. Anyway, these payment services also incur various monthly/transaction cost--

client: what is this about more costs? F*$%, we've already paid you for the site! Now you just need to enhance it a bit because it is so boring. All we want is to just run our store online, but we can't afford these new --

me: -click- I believe that this is when I lapsed into a commatose state after realizing I'd blown a many hours of my life on this project in which now I'm not going to be paid for (though in all fairness, due to my abrupt hang-up).

definately <blink>ughhh!</blink>

Now does anybody else get that? "Yeah, just a simple e-commerce site with a database and realtime payments, and this and that and then a flash intro thingy, oh, and can you use html and not... and I've only got $500. Can you get this for me in two weeks?"

*supressing laughter*

okay, thanks for the venting space!