God, these are great.
Some of my favorites:
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<client> Make the logo bigger!
After swallowing my professional pride and making it (somewhat) bigger...
<client> No! That's not big enough! I want it to be like a headline!
<me> Like a headline on your letterhead?
<client> Letterhead? No! Headline! Could you make it really big?
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We're doing a series of internet courses for a really big client. My boss comes back after a project meeting with them.
<boss>They want animation, audio, video, popups, and forms.
<me>OK. That's alot of plugin technology and stuff. Pretty complex.
<boss>Oh no--they said absolutely NO plugins!
<me>Uh, OK... Well, that makes it a little tougher
<boss>They've got something in the works planned.
<me>Uh, what is it?
<boss>They wouldn't tell me.
<me>Don't you have to quote them a price?
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From this moron CEO I used to work for:
"We want to distribute these internet stuff on CD-romes". He actually pronounced CD-ROM that way...
From the same guy after I balked at making the headline in rainbow colors: "You don't want to work!"
--For once, he was right. I was out of there pretty soon after.