Client Quote 231/521:

escapee

Here's some key moments from my miserable 5 years of
working as web designer and art director:
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A project manager heard we were hiring more designers.
<p.m.> "I have an artist friend who designs cakes. She's really creative."
<me> "I'd love to see her portfolio."

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<ceo pointing to 10 pixel red to white gradation> "...no more of this 'sissy pink' shit."

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<different ceo> "Could we change this purplish color to blue? I can't STAND that color."
[pointing at screen, wearing the same purplish color button-up shirt.]

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<client> "We don't have a name for our new company yet. Could you make us a logo?"

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A client drove to our building, walked past our secretary back to our department. Thinking we were now "Kinko's", told us to scan a photo for him and print it out while he waited with his coat and gloves on.

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<me> "Would you like your splash page built with Flash?"
<client> "You got it...lots of flash and dash."

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<my vice pres> "No more jpegs on our web sites--gifs load faster."

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<client> "Don't use any red...it reminds me of blood."

(...these color comments stuck with me the most...)
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<for a pharmaceutical company> We were asked to create a training course about "unsafe hospital practices": For *one* of the 20 illustrations, they wanted (submitted in writing) "a hospital lobby on fire, smoke and flames pouring out of rooms. An older Hispanic man haunched over coughing being walked out of building by a 40 year old Black woman. A 'caution: wet floor sign' with vial from a blood test broken on the floor. An uncovered urine specimen by the phone. A pile of file folders on the desk with papers hanging out. Syringes piled up on desk."

After our art department finished laughing, we decided to actually make it. Pulled it off with 3d modeling, digital photos and all (except for the ethnicity).

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There's more, but that's enuff from me. I just couldn't take it anymore. I've escaped into computer animation now. Finally...true creativity! Took me two years to transition out. This is my first and last post here, thanks for the laughs! Good luck to you all. ;)