Client Quote 132/521:


Continued from above:

"CEO": So, you know HTML? (no and stuff, thank god)

me: Yep.

CEO: So, you know Stylesheets?

me: (a little confused, after this 2 hour drive) Yes. (?)

CEO: Well, we're a medical [INSERT MARKETING JARGON AND THE MARKETING VERSION OF "techno-babble" HERE], and we develop office billing software for private practices. However, we would like to put together a database-driven health tip encyclopedia delivered through an (exact words here) Adobe Flash Macromedia interface.

Me: Well, I have to be honest, I don't really know anything about building a database.

CEO: We've got someone to do that. We just need you to create all the templates that the information will be plugged into them (and he made that little quotes motion with his hands)"on the fly."

Me: Let me get this straight. You want a database...

CEO: built in HTML

me: well, that's not generally how it's done, I think.

CEO: No, our techie guy tells me that's how to do it.

Me: Ok. So, you want me to design an easy to use interface so that consumers, not your customers, can search for health tips?

CEO: Yes. Kinda like Yahoo, but not with all the links.

me: well, I would think that a well built electronic encyclopedia would be cross referenced.

CEO: And we want it fully animated in Adobe Flash Macromedia, so people can see it with Realplayer.

me: uh huh...

CEO: Also, take a look at our site (shows me the site on the monitor). What would you change about it to improve performance?

And I swear to god the motherfucker whipped out a tape recorder.

Me: well, I think I'd have to think about that question some more.

CEO: Great! Well, how about you create some templates and flash players, and we'll arrange another meeting so you can show me your progress!

me: yeah. Sure. (Yeah right! Consult for free? Not when some yahoo with a bad haircut gets paid 20,000 an hour to tell people that they don't like to scroll! I want in on that scam too!)

Needless to say, I have yet to call them.