This was actually told to me by a mate in IT support. They had recently changed from terminals to pc's: Girl on phone: My computer doesn't work. Him: What seems to be the problem ? Girl: I can't open Word. Him: Move the mouse to the start button at the bottom left of the screen and left click. Girl: okay i've done that, but nothing is happening. Him: okay I'll come up and help. He arrives up there and see's her with THE ACTUAL MOUSE ON THE SCREEN...... <blink> aaaarrghhr <blink>…