Client Quote 227/521:

Aaaahhh... clients. If I didn't need them to make money, I'd have them all shot.

Ok, Fortune 10 telecom company, the director of IT: "I want it to look like it's a machine... like it's made of metal..."
So, I make some nice gradients with greys, and I get this nice looking console-type thing, fairly subtle, but *I* though I achieved what he was looking for. Boss' response: "Can I get more bumpy-slidey-shiny stuff?" Me:"...." So, I attacked it with eye candy and made it so chrome you could barely look at it without sunglasses, and just for good measure, I made all the parts in draggable layers so it *all* "slides".. he comes back and says "Perfect!" Ugh...
Same boss, a couple weeks later: "Ok, we need about 6 or 8 prototype designs for the new *******.com website. It has to be the newest, coolest, baddest, most cutting-edge shit anyone has ever seen." So I say: "well, what kinds of things did you have in mind?", he says: "Oh, I don't know, just make sure it's the coolest shit you've ever seen. Oh, and I need them by 5:00", me: "But, it's 3:00...", him: "Well, I told the Sr.VP I would show him the prototypes today at 5:00 so that he could present the design he picks to the CEO tomorrow morning.", me: "...uuuhhhh... no?", him: "What do you mean no?", me: "I mean, you'd better prepare yourself for the very real possibility that you're going into that meeting with absolutely nothing to show." He was, uuuhhhmm... less than pleased. You know what his response was? "I can probably put that meeting off until 6:00..." Needless to say, I didn't work there much longer. I quit... but I waited until *after* they sent me to SIGGRAPH... ;-)

And don't even start with the tech support quotes, I worked tech support for more years than I'm willing to admit to, and I've got some *baaad* ones. You know, "My foot pedal isn't working!", oops... must've "accidentally" transferred you to sales... my bad, *back in the queue for you!*

ryanm